It’s so Romantic!

“So where did you two meet?”
“We met on the internet!”


Man, internet dating services are goldmines... I mean.. for people who want a date. So, if you are looking to meet that special someone just send me $10 and I’ll set you up with the male/female/multigender of your dreams!

Along with the payment, include your responses to this simple questionnaire to ensure compatibility.


1.) In a relationship, your ideal geographic proximity would be:
a.) within 500 miles
b.) on the same continent
c.) an adjacent hemisphere

2.) Your favorite color is:
a.) blue
b.) other

3.) Your ideal partner is:
a.) literate
b.) legally blind
c.) not Kobe Bryant or OJ Simpson

4.) You would best describe your past relationships as:
a.) existent
b.) nonexistent
c.) prefer not to say

5.) In a relationship, you look for:
a.) getting free stuff
b.) good cooking
c.) free stuff and cooking

6.) Something your potential match should know about you:
a.) carrying STD(s)
b.) ex-convict or serial killer
c.) the picture of my face looks pretty good, but I’m actually fat
d.) two or more of the above


Remember: If you’re not married yet, there’s something wrong with you!

Send check or money order to:
Brien’s Awesome Dating Service
PO BOX 325207
Georgia Tech Station
Atlanta, GA 30302