Question #9
"I’m running low on cash. Can you help me out?"
- A.D.
Well you’ve come to the right person because I’m pretty well known for my get-rich-quick schemes. Unfortunately though, I’m too lazy to ever go through with them. While inventions are probably less likely to be successful than pyramid schemes and the like, I think they are slightly more dignified. With that in mind, here are a few of the inventions that I’ve been thinking about the past few days.
Pantos
Ever see the Seinfeld episode where Cramer invents the Bro, a bra for men? Well this was a pretty dumb idea, but they did mention that women’s underwear is more comfortable than men’s and I think they may have been on to something. The way I see it everything else men wear is more comfortable, there’s no reason our underwear shouldn’t be more comfortable too. Personally, I’ve never worn women’s underwear. It’s partially because I fear they may be too constricting, but the main reason is that I don’t know what size I wear in women’s clothing. Any way, it’s a pretty simple idea, shouldn’t be too hard to pull off. In a commercial I think I’d say “I make underpants for the American working man, because that’s who I am and that’s who I care about.”
Bacon Sprinkles
Bacon is pretty good and it goes with just about anything. The problem is it’s too hard to cook it every time you want to put it on something. I think little pieces of pre-cooked and well-cured bacon would do great on the market. Then you could have bacon any time you wanted! Even on salad! You might laugh now but people also laughed when bubble gum was invented. Well, probably.
Consistent World Map
Teachers in the United States really need a map they can use that parallels their teaching style. Students just get so confused when they see the smaller, less important countries that had nothing to do with the American Revolution. You could probably make a lot of money if you developed a map that only incorporates the countries that we need to learn about in the United States.
I also designed a perpetual motion machine, but I don’t think the public would really accept it since our society is pretty set in its ways about obeying the laws of thermodynamics. Besides, those are some pretty good ideas and should be enough to get you started. I'm sure any one of them will bring in more than enough to retire off of.
- A.D.
Well you’ve come to the right person because I’m pretty well known for my get-rich-quick schemes. Unfortunately though, I’m too lazy to ever go through with them. While inventions are probably less likely to be successful than pyramid schemes and the like, I think they are slightly more dignified. With that in mind, here are a few of the inventions that I’ve been thinking about the past few days.
Pantos
Ever see the Seinfeld episode where Cramer invents the Bro, a bra for men? Well this was a pretty dumb idea, but they did mention that women’s underwear is more comfortable than men’s and I think they may have been on to something. The way I see it everything else men wear is more comfortable, there’s no reason our underwear shouldn’t be more comfortable too. Personally, I’ve never worn women’s underwear. It’s partially because I fear they may be too constricting, but the main reason is that I don’t know what size I wear in women’s clothing. Any way, it’s a pretty simple idea, shouldn’t be too hard to pull off. In a commercial I think I’d say “I make underpants for the American working man, because that’s who I am and that’s who I care about.”
Bacon Sprinkles
Bacon is pretty good and it goes with just about anything. The problem is it’s too hard to cook it every time you want to put it on something. I think little pieces of pre-cooked and well-cured bacon would do great on the market. Then you could have bacon any time you wanted! Even on salad! You might laugh now but people also laughed when bubble gum was invented. Well, probably.
Consistent World Map
Teachers in the United States really need a map they can use that parallels their teaching style. Students just get so confused when they see the smaller, less important countries that had nothing to do with the American Revolution. You could probably make a lot of money if you developed a map that only incorporates the countries that we need to learn about in the United States.
I also designed a perpetual motion machine, but I don’t think the public would really accept it since our society is pretty set in its ways about obeying the laws of thermodynamics. Besides, those are some pretty good ideas and should be enough to get you started. I'm sure any one of them will bring in more than enough to retire off of.
posted by brien at
3/06/2005 11:55:00 PM
2 Comments:
you ended a sentence with a preposition.
By
Anonymous, at 9:12 PM
And somebody already came up with the bacon idea back in the 70's called Bac-O's. Don't believe it was really bacon, though. It's probably the same stuff they sell as "Beggin' Strips" today. Those things taste pretty good but every time I eat one I get so thirsty I want to drink out of the toilet.
By
Anonymous, at 1:05 AM
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